What is the big deal about Marriage
I finally had the marriage talk with my Yard Kindred
Over the years, the only person I have exactly had like a marriage talk with is my favorite uncle and it's just the usual,
Uncle: “Chukwubuzo, do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “No”
Uncle: “Ha!! As beautiful and pretty as you are, you don't have a boyfriend?”
Then I proceed to promised him that I will bring a group of men for him during the Christmas season for him to pick one as my husband. In 2021, I promised that I'll bring back 21 men and he will pick one as my husband. In 2022, I promised him the same thing, 22 men. I promised him again in 2023, 23 men. I didn't promise him in 2024 because my life was life-ing in 2024. I did not promise him in 2025 too because I finally had that conversation with everybody.
That is how I was on my own. My auntie was talking to my brother about careers, careers you can build and, you know, how Nigeria has limited us. The usual advice aunties give.
She was still talking to my brother. I walked in on them and that is how, the next thing she said was,
“You sef, if you had good character, maybe you would have had a man would have come to marry you this Christmas.”
Thank you WithSoMuchGoodness for bringing the Zobo we will use to step down this gist
She didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm sure the good character thing was a joke or not but that's exactly what she said.
I froze. And it just dawned on me that, “yo, now your suffering has begun.”
At that point, I had more than three people gang up and have that conversation with me; Not with me. I wouldn't want to describe it as a conversation. In their eyes, it was a conversation. In my eyes, it was just more like a setup.
It bruised me for days.
The days are spanning on to weeks. And hopefully, they don't span to months. It's been almost two weeks since we had that conversation, and I still have this thug in my heart.
Guys, especially the women and the men that are currently experiencing this, Let's talk.
What is it about marriage?
Yes, I know that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord but what is really it about marriage? What's the thing about marriage that makes everybody shake when they hear it. What is the most fantastic thing? What is it?
Marriage is the union of two different individuals, irrespective of their age, societal class, sex, religion, and a bunch of other factors as husband and wife, to have and to hold (this person becomes your responsibility, your best friend, the other side of your coin, your pillow; I don’t understand how you will have a partner and you cannot lie or lean on them), for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in good and in bad until the sun sets on that chapter of your lives (I deliberately added that because anything can happened; infidelity, abuse, loosing touch, death. They are valid reasons for a marriage to end)
Marriage is the end where it begins. To be honest, the perfect song to sing for someone when they are getting married is “I can see everything turning around, turning around, turning around for your Good.” Everything around you and about you will just change- One minute you are two individuals who don't know each other from anywhere. Next minute you meet, you start getting fond of each other, then you start courting or like they call it Dating.
You get extra comfortable to let your guard down and move your cards away from your chest. She-Devil can now kiss He-Devil. You now share food with someone, share clothes with this same person, laugh at their jokes even when they are not funny (they say you people complete each others sentences. That one is a lie sha but that is a discussion for another day), Butterflies will move from the stomach to the heart. One faithful day, you will both decide to get married to each other and things become a little different; You cohabit together, Have babies together and just enjoy the feeling and comfort of being together.
Unless there is something else you people do inside marriage that I do not know, I don't think anyone should be under any kind of pressure to get married. Jola of I Said What I Said Podcast said it is because of Vaping, STIs and the mortality rate in men that people are in a hurry to get married; I mount and agree with her die. With the rate at which we have smoking chimneys and you see the way they are sharing STD like party pack? May God continue to save us.
NO pressure. Don't stress it. At the end of the day, it is how well, never How Far. How far is actually determined by the partner you pick and how compatible you both are in the long run.
This is where we come to the end of the free mode zobo. Go and Order yours. You're welcome 😊
Here is the song of today's letter. Enjoy🥂
No pressure, no stress ❤
Don't give in to the pressure.
Take your time
I love this piece boo.
Well done ♥